Finding Summer in the Winter

Who knew that I could find a spiritual lesson in the lyrics of a lost-love Country song? Well, I did. You've probably heard the song...if  you are like me and find yourself occasionally (as in all the time) belting out country tunes in your car...

********

Taylor Swift ~ Back to December

I'm so glad you made time to see me

How's life? Tell me, how's your family?

I haven't seen them in a while

You've been good, busier than ever

We small talk, work and the weather

Your guard is up, and I know why

Because the last time you saw me

Is still burned in the back of your mind

You gave me roses, and I left them there to die

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and and make it alright
I go back to December all the time

These days, I haven't been sleeping

Staying up, playing back myself leaving

When your birthday passed, and I didn't call

Then I think about summer, all the beautiful times

I watched you laughing from the passenger side

And realized I loved you in the fall

And then the cold came, the dark days

When fear crept into my mind

You gave me all your love, and all I gave you was goodbye

So this is me swallowing my pride

Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night

And I go back to December all the time

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you

Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine

I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind

I go back to December all the time

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile

So good to me, so right

And how you held me in your arms that September night

The first time you ever saw me cry

Maybe this is wishful thinking

Probably mindless dreaming

But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right

I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't

So if the chain is on your door, I understand

This is me swallowing my pride

Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night

And I go back to December

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you

Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine

I go back to December, turn around and make it alright

I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind

I go back to December all the time, all the time

********

Alright, so what profoud spiritual thought came to my mind in listening to this woeful song about mistakes in love? Taylor expresses the feelings of regret over not realizing the good thing that she had and how she wishes she could go back and change it. She expresses the hope of a second chance, that she could prove herself as worthy of his love again. Take the "lost-love story" out of the lyrics for a minute. I found myself thinking of the fall of man, and the story of the prodigal son.

How did the fall of man happen? How did we get to this place of not living in paradise, surrounded by all things good and beautiful, but instead, living in a world that is decaying, and full of bitter, unhappy, never have enough people? Through the sin of ungratefulness. Adam and Eve found themselves in a place of not being fully satisfied in the good gifts God so freely gave them in the Garden of Eden, and believed the lie of the serpent that there was something more. The serpent didn't promise something better, just something more. (Genesis 3). How I wish we could experience life as Adam and Eve experienced before that fateful bite was taken!

Jesus gives a clear example of this ungrateful attitude in mankind in his parable of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15. This son, not happy in the life he had with his father, demanded his inheritance and abandoned life with his family. When the money was gone, and he couldn't support his "better" life anymore, he realized just how good he had it with his father.

"And he would gladly have filled his stomach with the pods that the swine ate, and no one gave him anything. But when he came to himself, he said, 'How many of my father's hired servants have bread enough to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants."'" Luke 15:16-19 NKJV

The son was thinking back on the good life, and was happy to settle for less than what he had before just to be back in that place, given a second chance.

How many times have I found myself dissatisfied with what God has blessed me with. Overlooking the good things, the warm summers, and instead focusing on the cold winters and the serpents lie that God isn't really good...that He doesn't really love me? When I allow that fear to take over, and cause me to walk away from the things he has provided, how often do I find myself wanting to be back in the place I was before, with His goodness and beauty, in the warm summertime? I find myself saying, "There's no way He'll take me back. No way should I hope for the same goodness I received from Him before". Thus the lies of the enemy continue to invade my thoughts and my hopes for reconciliation and even a taste of the goodness God gives.

The difference between this woeful song, and the prodigal story, is that there is, there can be a happy ending.

"And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kisssed him. And the son said, 'Fatehr, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.' But the father said to his servants, 'Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' And they began to be merry." Luke 15:20-23 NKJV

The son wasn't worthy of a second chance. He had rejected his father and taken his inheritance and lost it. But the father had compassion. And it wasn't a, "Sure, Son, I'll give you another chance and you'd better not screw it up." compassion either. The son was enveloped in his father's embrace. Though all the son asked for was to be treated as a servant, the father gave him the best of all he could give.

Christ doesn't act as a scorned lover when we come back to Him. He doesn't wait to show us just how wrong we were, or to punish us for leaving in the first place. He has compassion, and grace, and love for us, and calls us His own, and perfect, and continues to give us more than we could ask or even imagine.

Still, this becomes a vicious cycle in my life, and I think in the life of every believer. We enjoy the happy times, the summer times, when everything is beautiful and in bloom. When the winters come, even though we still have Christ, and His love, and all He gives, we find Him not to be enough. He doesn't keep us chained to Him, we have the choice to walk away. And everytime we find ourselves coming up empty, He welcomes us back, forgives us, and calls us His own again.

I think the reason I listened to the song in this new way, stems from a book I've been reading by Ann Voskamp called One Thousand Gifts. (I highly recommend it!) In her book, she discusses the concept of the Fall being rooted in ungratefulness and what it has left us with. Her book is a challenge to living a thankful, grateful life, to combat the ungrateful heart we inherited with the fall. To have a thankful, grateful heart, in everything (even the winters), goes against our sinful nature. My prayer for my life, is to learn to recognize the ungratefulness in my life, and learn to have a grateful, thankful heart, for what He has already given, and to recognize His gifts in the everyday things. To find the summer in the winter.

So, that is my oh so profound thought of the day...

Blessings!